I believe so based upon my experience. I also think it is healthy to be wary.
I think you can safely call Piecing, an honest attempt at both parties to improve their relationship...so if it quacks like a duck.
David,
Piecing is going to be harder than what you just went through. Now you get to slowly get rid of the armor you built up. You have to learn how to trust a person who has shown the capacity to rip your world apart, and betray your trust, and you have to trust them...not to do that again.
Go slow, be patient, and communicate.
One of the most beneficial things my wife and I did was have a talk that boiled down to this:
"If something is said or is done that can be taken one of two ways, lets both promise not to take it the wrong way, to talk about it. I think we can both honestly say that right now, if we wanted to hurt the other one there would be no doubt or confusion."
You're entering a land of sharp rocks, razor edges and pitfalls. I highly recommend that you proceed slowly, and shed your walls and armor appropriately; over time.
Food for thought: She doesn't trust you, as much as you don't trust her. She is just as worried about this as you are.
Ultimately? A new apartment or new house, without any old memories (down the road) will help immensely.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
