I am on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Working hard to GAL and feel like I am making breakthroughs on what I want out of life now that my eyes are open but, every time I start to feel good and confident and detached and accept that the M is over and a D is inevitable, the strong hurt that my W is rejecting me and our M (and may be interested in someone else--I do not know if there is an EA) jumps into my head.
W and I talked last night and W said that our M has changed for the better in that we no longer argue and I am listening to her. (I credited the impact of the S for that.) We got on the topic of how her idea of our marriage being "bad" was based on how I was acting, not how I am acting. She acknowledged my changes but also continues to say that they are for me and the kids. When we talk she never discusses our M or her feelings for me she only talks about working together for the kids' interests. I feel like she is biding her time until she files for D. I realize that she is a WAW but when we talk about how things are now I see possibilities for us. She has never been married to the man I am today but she does not seem to have any interest in giving the "new man" a chance and that is frustrating and discouraging and hurtful. I have a feeling that she has no intention of doing anything other than filing for D and moving on with her life/pursuing another R. I may have done some back sliding last night. Not sure.
