Ok, rys, I am glad you have changed some things, but now it may be time to change the biggest thing of all; your attitude towards your H. With Christmas coming up, it's a great time to try different things. Almost everybody is rather sentimental this time of year. Does your H come over to your house anymore? If he does, invite him in, not grudgingly, for some eggnog, or some homemade treat you've just made and would like for him to try. Or call him to ask for help in putting up Christmas decorations. If you let this fear lead you, instead of your heart, then you will still be like this next Christmas. You need to put yourself on the line for something you consider this important. Try to be as sweet towards him as you can. Make the house smell wonderful with cinnamon and other yummy smells. Put out some inside decorations, make it look Christmassy and homey. I know, this all sounds all Suzy Homemaker, but I know my H notices and loves that sort of thing, and he's this tough cop. I just say all this, rys, because I know what you really want is to save your M. And you know by now that calling him and lambasting him for having an A, and leaving the family home to live with ow, is not going to make him snap into his senses. It may feel like bullying to him. You have to woo him, you have to let him SEE the changes you have made, and you have to understand that what you consider bad, like tattos, not everyone else feels is bad. I have a tattoo, and I am not bad. My father had tattoos all up and down his arms, and he was a beautiful man. He also wore black leather and rode a motorcycle. But, he also talked about God a lot. So, you see, it isn't the markings on a man, it's what is inside him. Can you see past all those markings and beard, and other stuff, to even want to put yourself out there?
