Peicing and hoping I'm doing the right thing.

[FreeBird0120]

MZ...wow that could be what I'm experiencing...I read a little on it and found the following:

Post-traumatic stress disorder
PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you've seen or experienced a traumatic event that involved the threat of injury or death.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors

PTSD can occur at any age. It can follow a natural disaster such as a flood or fire, or events such as:

Assault

Domestic abuse

Prison stay

Rape

Terrorism

War

The cause of PTSD is unknown. Psychological, genetic, physical, and social factors are involved. PTSD changes the body's response to stress. It affects the stress hormones and chemicals that carry information between the nerves (neurotransmitters).

It is not known why traumatic events cause PTSD in some people but not others. Having a history of trauma may increase your risk for getting PTSD after a recent traumatic event.
Symptoms

Symptoms of PTSD fall into three main categories:

1. "Reliving" the event, which disturbs day-to-day activity

Flashback episodes, where the event seems to be happening again and again

Repeated upsetting memories of the event

Repeated nightmares of the event

Strong, uncomfortable reactions to situations that remind you of the event

2. Avoidance

Emotional "numbing," or feeling as though you don't care about anything

Feeling detached

Being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma

Having a lack of interest in normal activities

Showing less of your moods

Avoiding places, people, or thoughts that remind you of the event

Feeling like you have no future

3. Arousal

Difficulty concentrating

Startling easily

Having an exaggerated response to things that startle you

Feeling more aware (hypervigilance)

Feeling irritable or having outbursts of anger

Having trouble falling or staying asleep

You might feel guilt about the event (including "survivor guilt"). You might also have some of the following symptoms, which are typical of anxiety, stress, and tension:

Agitation or excitability

Dizziness

Fainting

Feeling your heart beat in your chest

Headache

Whatever it is, I really hate it. I just want to feel like myself again.

H is being very affectionate, and is coming home on time, etc., so I guess it's just me at this point.

I hate these yucky feelings...