Val, slowly and carefully is a very good reminder. I tend to want things fixed yesterday and obviously that can't happen.
What I am realizing is that I am too concerned with outside things, and really need to look within for the first time. I was codependent long before I met H or got married. If I am being honest with myself, this goes back to the dysfunctional relationships I had with my parents. I have some work to do But I am willing to do it!
But I am willing to do it!