Thanks, WHG. I needed that reminder to pull back. Boy, that's tough to do. In reflecting on my conduct, I have found myself to be too eager; I am not following her around but I am a little too quick to leave my seat when she wants something.
The shopping trip was something we agreed to do because my W finds peace in handling things ahead of time. Admittedly, I wanted to shop together because I thought it would be fun and a way to be together; in reality, it was the exact opposite.
You are right, I do have to do a better job of detaching from the idea of being in a R/M. I am behaving as if I am hoping against hope. Any tips on the best was to detach from someone when you are living under the same roof as her?
All this reminds me that I have got to stop worrying about my W's well-being. Sandi2 made this very clear to me. (Thanks, again, Sandi2.) The whole time we were shopping I wanted to ask her (but did not), "What's wrong," "Why are you so distant," "What can I do to make you feel better," etc. I realize now that me offering to S outside of the house is another way that I am trying to take care of her needs. I agree with you fully that her words are an effort to try to get me to leave. (She has said that she will not leave because she will not leave the children and does not want to move them from the marital home at this point. She has mentioned looking at other accomodations but has said that she does not have the money at this point.) I want to give her space but I do not want to that at the expense of seeing my kids.
