adinva, yes, I'd def. not read his spew/never open the emails. This came out of nowhere, really. We have been on speaking terms and cordial/friendly since late August, and when we buried our cat together weeks ago we spoke for about 3-4 hours about our marriage/us/what went wrong/etc., and in the course of that time he told me he'd always love me, he cried about missing me because I'm his best friend, told me he had me in his head all the time and that that created conflict and challenges for him in his rel. with OW, AND....I saw that he was still deeply in MLC. But in any case, we were on such positive terms in the past month especially with this almost cameraderie and openness and a sort of acceptance that it was ok we weren't together that the spewing just blindsided me. It's the first I've seen this since like, month 3 or 4 of him leaving, and his explanation for why he did it then was "to get me to hate him so I'd end things because that was easier."
Oh wait.
Maybe it bugs him that we were getting along--it made him even more conflicted over OW--and so he's throwing out the spew again.
Whoops I just analyzed him again ;-)
Old habits...
Anyway, there is a major part of me that was hoping he and I could just have this cordial sort of friendship from a big distance, but I don't think he's capable of that. So I'm back to NC and I think he'll stay quiet himself rather than start any more conversation.
What's interesting is that our legal issues wrapped up 2 weeks ago, and there is literally ZERO reason for him to ever have any contact with me again. So we'll see how long that lasts. It has never lasted more than 5 weeks before he found a reason.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
