Wife left

[CO1978]

I know I shouldn't have pleaded or begged or even cried a little in front of her, but I couldn't help it. I made myself vulnerable to it when I admitted to her I was an alcoholic. It was the first time I said that out loud to anyone. She tried to defend me by saying I wasn't. I did tell her I am getting help and becoming better. I said I know it will take time and it was okay if it was time apart, it was just crushing when she said she wasn't coming back. Mr. Bond that is a good idea, my IC said the same thing and to stop taking all the burden of this. I want to stop, but my guilt is so heavy. My GAL plans ending up changing a bit, was supposed to take S out to see Christmas light show, but friends had to cancel, so a friend is coming over tonight to watch football. First time we'll be hanging out without beer. Hopefully tomorrow night we can see the Christmas lights. Maybe tonight I will put up tree, since that was something I never did, I would carry the decorations out of attic, she would decorate. I also shaved my goatee off last night, she was kind of shocked to see that (first time I saved it off in 7 years).