Did I do the right thing?

[waiting4thedawn]

This is my first post. I have been "lurking" here for about 3 weeks or so trying to decide if I had a WAS. My husband has left me 3 times in the past. This last time has been for good. Each time he left, he plotted before leaving. The 1st time was about 6-7 years ago-- he rented an apt and was slowly taking things from the house. This last time, he BOUGHT a house and left. That was in April 2011.

He told me he didn't want the marriage, he wasn't happy, etc. He told me over the phone that he wasn't coming back and three days later he dropped another bomb that he was buying a house and wanted me to sign an agreement saying I wouldn't ask for alimony. He started dating immediately and I also found out through snooping that he had been e-mailing a woman from his high school. The e-mails were almost a year old and it didn't sound like they had met, but it did kind of sound like an EA. I really don't know if he had any PA's through our 9 year marriage.

After begging, pleading, blowing up his phone, I finally got it. So, I filed for divorce and it has probably already been granted, but just hasn't come in the mail yet. I am only waiting for the judge to sign it and he's had it on his desk for three weeks, so it's just a matter of days before it's official at this point.

Without realizing it, I have GAL'ed and I went dark for about 2 months. The last time I saw him in Oct., He needed me to sign some papers so he could get insurance money for his car (he had hit a deer and the car was totaled). As he was leaving the house, he cried. I reached my hand out to him and when I touched him, he reached around and hugged me. This threw me for a loop and I tried to get him to stay and reverted to past behaviors by demanding that he stay for a few minutes and talk. He was visablly upset by my pursuit so I immediately sent him a text apologizing for losing my mind. Then I went dark. I even ignored a nasty text he sent a few days later. I knew that being mad and texting back a rude text wouldn't do me any good and I couldn't stand the pain so I ignored it.

I didn't hear from him for almost 2 months I thought it was totally over. He has signed every divorce paper without any contact so I thought we would probably never see or speak ever again. (We don't have any children so we have no ties.)

Then yesterday, out of the clear blue, I see that he has texted me. he wants to put me as his beneficiary for his life insurance. Then he asked about my Christmas plans and if anything was new with me or the family. I texted him back later that evening and tried to do what I normally wouldn't do which was to accept this generous olive branch. In the past,I would have said no thanks and that would have been it. Instead I told him that he had taken very good care of me in the past and it meant a great deal to me that he would list me as beneficiary. I didn't answer what was new or what I was doing for Christmas. Our texts stopped after I ask if the change in insurance was due to the new job he had applied for. He told me he didn't get it and I told him I was sorry about that but then he told me he had gotten a nice raise and that was why. So I said congrats and he didn't text back anymore....neither did I.

Is this simply an olive branch or could this lead to something? Anyone have any advice for me. Did I do the right thing? Should I have continued to go dark and not answer? What do I do now. I truly love him and I realize my mistakes however he has some issues too that must be worked on before I'd ever take him back, but is this a good start?