DBing against OW...?????

[imthemom]

again this session did not go as planned...I did start by saying that i did not feel that there was a lot of coparenting happening..mentioned the appt H blew off (which he said he didnt remember) and the fact that OW was at the house when I went to finish getting my stuff (which he said I should have called first) C actually agreed with him and said that from now on we should make contact with each other before there is any interaction as to avoid that situation happening again?????????
in the process of OW being brought up we got into the subject of it being an affair..which H disagreed on. H said that since we had been sepetated for so long he did not consider it an affair. even though he agreed that he was still leading me to believe that we were working on our problems (it was going on for 3 months before I found out) and that he lied when i asked if he was seeing someone.
H stated that he started seeing her without telling me because "he needed to see if the grass was greener before he told me he was threw"..now that I know the time frame I know that he was still comeing to my house everyday and comeing over for dinner while he was seeing her.
H also stated that he does NOT want to tell S14 about it and (this i was totally unaware of) S14 had asked him a week ago if he was seeing other women and H lied to him and said no....He also said that he hardly spends any time with her and doesnt feel its neccesary to tell S14.
He also said that he feels that I treated him like crap for 17 yrs and now the shoe is on the other foot and he is basically giving me a taste of my own medicine.
I then had to sit and listen to him tell her how overwelmed he is that now he is paying rent and he is angry and worried and scared about the money he is going to have to pay me with the divorce and he cant get a moments peace because its always something with me and money. and that he is angry that the D is not just over and done with....

I came out of there seeing him for the first time as a weak, immature man..who doesnt have the ability or the maturity to make decisions that are going to be based on what is best for his son. Im beginning to see that the man I was with for all those years may not exist ever again. and that is why i think im having such a hard time.....I have to think like he is dead. and there is a really good chance that the person he is now is someone that I have no desire to have in my life. He does not care about what S14 is going through, he cannot see beyond his little bubble and that is all he cares about. He actually got angry when it was suggested that instead of texting S14 that he call him once in a while so he could hear his voice. ??????

I know that you all have stories like this and the person comes around and realizes that there actions were so terrible but I dont know how you get past that. I dont think I can forgive someone who is actively hurting my son and has no remorse for it. it was like i was sitting in a room with a stranger.

when C brought up the fact that we needed to renew our approval to have more sessions I stated that I didnt really think that the sessions were benefitial to our co parenting and H said if I wouldnt get the approval for more he would.?????????????
WTH????

I guess this session didnt help my whole going dark idea...but i will continue with that..I feel alot better when there is not the daily interaction by text with him. I see now that he is going to drag out the D, instead of sitting with my attorney and making an agreement, he has decided to get his own lawyer and fight the money issue. this morning I am sick of the whole thing...and disgusted...