yesterday i felt that i had to do something different. i text h and told him i was sorry for the mistakes i made and said my heart was broken everyday that our family was not together. i dont know if it was good but i felt i have nothing to lose. i said iwould have given my life for him when we were together, because thats how i felt. I got no response but i didnt expect one either. i remember when he use to go in the ocean and he didnt know how to swim and i always thought i would risk my own life to save him if he was drowning.
