I do not think you are out of line, WS. And Antonia, that is a fair question of Pei, IMHO.
WS, I do have a friends with benefits thing going, and it suits me well. Surprisingly. In this relationship, I can say ILUBINILWY and feel very positively about it. I believe he can say the same of me. At this time, it is all I am capable of.
Antonia, I believe everyone has a separate, personal timeline. In PEI's case, she feels perhaps 15 years was not the effective time-span to feel the way some of us do. I do not believe I would have felt any different at 15 years than I do at 20.
Pei, 15 years of a possible 75 year life span is an equatable amount of time. You do the math. Discounting our childhood, there is not a lot of time left discounting those 15 years you gave to one person. That is not a criticism in any way. As I said above, I believe we all have our own timeline of healing. Not feeling the way I do does not negate the feelings and devotion that you had for your marriage.
Perhaps it is a matter of the age at which we go through this. I believe myself to have been more capable of 'bouncing back' at a younger age than I am now. 'Moving on' is a different prospect at 35 than at 55.
Regardless, as much as we would wish a given timespan to the amount of suffering/grieving that we do, it is simply not to be. We are each our own individual, with different life experiences and different expectations. We have separate things in commen. Unfortunately, the thing that has brought us all together is the MLC of our spouse.
