OnMyWay: to the next phase.

[OnMyWay]

I've spent a lot of time lately posting about the "new" me and how much my life has improved. Time to shed some light on the effects on my marital sitch, as things are moving rapidly.

As I pointed out previously, my parents were visiting for thanksgiving and my W wanted to be involved in the day. This had been causing W a lot of worry and stress. My parents weren't very "warm" towards her and there was some friction between the two of us over the issue. However, I told W that she should do what every she wants to do with in her comfort level. She really wanted to come to dinner, so I told her "so be it." We then discussed expectations. I let her know I had none, other than to have a nice day with my family - that I was setting everything aside for this. She felt the same and made the effort. We had a great Thanksgiving.

Since then, W has a bit of spent time over at the house, helped with home improvement projects, and has been part of the family. She's invited me to a museum I've always wanted to go to, but that she had no interest in - even bought us tickets. She sleeps over from time to time.

She frequently comments on many of the changes I've made in myself. We have fun again when we are together. Where she used to dread coming over, she now dreads having to leave. She freely admits she feels she's about to go through a major change and speaks in terms of our mutual futures together often. While she says she still feels like a self-imposed outsider, she "nests" around the house. She is helping me pick out new rugs and home improvement projects - she's participating again. The stress of her school makes her long for a vacation and we have talked many times about making a trip to Cancun or someplace out-of-the-way together. She even went so far as to say, "When we get back together, it will have to be a rule we vacation alone together a minimum of one week a year." Her attitude and the things she says seem as if she has every intention of coming back to the marriage in a permanent fashion. We will have to wait and see.

All this is a rapid and major change in attitude for her. She stated she feels, as hard as this separation has been, ultimately much good will come from it. I have to agree as I feel the greater the adversity, the greater the opportunity. For now, I'm continuing to find myself and hold on to the progress I have made, leaving her to her own demons, while being as supportive as possible. If she decides to come back, the door is open for her. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but it sure does feel like she's "trying it on for size," looking for her way back in. Kind of funny, when all she has to do is move back.

It would be nice to be able to move over to "Piecing" forum, but at that point, I know the real hard work will begin.