This morning I am having a 'how did I get here' moment. Last night should have been such a good night, and I always pictured us celebrating it together. Our son was accepted to college and we barely looked at each other. I'm in so much pain, and I can't seem to swallow this lump in my throat.
I'm sorry for your bad evening... Rolled into this am...
Did you have a fight? Or was he just being an overall pain?
I see it now, but... My xH would start a fight, and then bolt for hours, overnight, and once even a week. (Later, after seeing infidelity evidencei understood his instigating a reason to leave.). Other times, he would just be a major PITA. For no reason. Afterwards, I often wondered if it was because he felt he had to be at home, and not off enjoying himself. Hindsight is 20/20.
I get it, though. During our limbo period, I had one graduate from high school and 6th grade. The token family pics are lovely.
How can I help?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Good morning mindfull! No argument, just the odd distance and at times looking at a stranger. We've been keeping our promise to the kids to not argue in front of them. It is the odd tension that causes me to feel restless. Nothing anyone can do about that unfortunately.
It's like a dance, one that I don't know the steps to
It's funny... my xH and I are on decent terms now, and co-parent pretty well. As you know I just moved, and he did, as well (SAME WEEK! Poor kids!) Well, one of my boys realized that two couch sets would be better off exchanged, due to the way the homes are set up. xH and I agreed that we would exchange them. He was here on Monday, w/a few other helpers, in my new house, moving the couches.
I had a hard time reconciling this man before me. 15 years of marriage, and I don't even know him at all anymore.
It's sad that something, with that kind of root, can denigrate to where we are now. MANY MANY times this man looked like a stranger to me, while lying in our marital bed, too.
How does that happen?
I sure know now where are a lot of the mistakes were, and have tuned my "picker". And, I've done the work to enjoy myself so much more now.
But, UGH, what a set of memories you just stirred up!
Oh, and if you don't know the steps to the dance, do what I do... HEAD SPINS!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Like clockwork, I swear! I have been working today and posting here a bit as well, and just got an email from H to say "how is your day going. haven't heard from you today"
It's like he is taking the temp. I am fighting the urge to respond by posting here and then I will get back to work.
Last night he called on his way to the gym, after work. I didn't get it because I was busy GAL. When he couldn't reach me he texted "you have phone issues". I am not trying to make him angry but I can't answer every call and text.
I guess this means that some of my 180's are working.
I am going out for a bit after work, and the kids both have plans as well. I will just leave a note so he doesn't worry about where the kids are.
