You have so many factors at play in an affair and the "courtship" that are new and have no comparison to a "Old" relationship. I firmly believe that when you were courting your husband that there was a fair amount of intimate conversations? Those conversations slow down over time because the other person already knows. Now if you were to start again with a new man, I bet you would have tons of intimate convo's.....it is a natural courting thing. Of course today with IM, website boards, Emails, text, video texts, cell phone pic's. etc...It is so much easier to have those conversations and flirt. The truth is though, they eventually will slow down. Honestly...how many times a day would you want to here "I want to suck you ****"? It would end up being generally boring as heck to me.
So somewhere a balance needs to be found in any relationship to keep it from getting boring, but at the same time not letting it control your thoughts so that every interaction leads to sex. Right now I think your husband seems to have unrealistic expectations of a sexual life. Why? Probably because he feels how things are with the OW are how things should be. But you know the truth N....it is just a hormonic high that will fade faster than Milli Vinili.
Don't worry about the hot sex...it will go away. As my wife told me about her last affair "The sex was incredible at first...by far the best I had ever had. The guy really knew what he was doing. In the end though...I was thinking..enough already! I am tired and want to go to sleep".
So in conclusion...patience and time are your friend. Work on yourself and don't...repeat...DON'T try to compete with the OW. You are worth more than that.
