2nd Thread - After almost 1 year, I keep going

[keep_going]

I was reading in imthemom's thread about crazy things our spouses have said or done... Check this one out.

I am going to my home country for two weeks for Xmas and New Years. H and I have done this every other year since we met, and he was ok with me doing so this year as well. He was very bummed that he would be apart from the kids that long and said so to me. As a courtesy, I told him he was welcome to join us for the holidays, thinking there was no way he would be remotely interested. He said thank you, but he had to work.

SInce this initial conversation a month ago, he has brought up three times maybe joining us for a few days for Xmas. WTH... Why would he want to be in my country, with me and my family, completely far away from everything that is his new life now...

I think he has absolutely no awareness that my parents would probably not like him to join us. Don't get me wrong - they adore my H as a son, but are so deeply hurt now, that they avoid coming to my house for fear of running into him. They get so nervous and awkward in front of him - they simply don't know how to act, because H just acts as if nothing when he sees them.

It would be so uncomfortable for all of my family... Trying to be polite (and they would be), while inside they are so hurt and angry. Plus they would all be so confused as to why he would fly 4 hrs and stay with us for the holidays in the first place.

Last night H brought it up again. He said he was looking online for a tix, but that they were so crazy expensive. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I have no idea if that means he will still try to find one or has given up.

Part of me would like him to come - obviously. I also think that maybe OW would not appreciate that either (I wouldn't if I was her).

Yet I mostly don't want him to come. It's a loaded gun and I don't want him to spoil the holidays for me and the kids if we fight or if he is rude, mean or detached. I know if he came, he would be missing OW so much and texting her constantly.

Plus I was looking forward to being with my family and letting them pamper me and the kids and just try to forget my sitch for a couple of weeks. Plus I also want H to miss us.

This man has lost his mind...