progress?

[FreeBird0120]

Hello Tinker:

I feel so much of what you're going through. I have dealt and am currently dealing with a similar sitch. You can go on my profile and read my posts to get a better understanding if you like, but beware, they are pretty long...LOL!!

Anyway, my H also had an EA with a coworker. No PA that I know of, but I have my suspicions. Lots of talking on the phone and texting very inappropriate things to eachother, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

I've been dealing with this since August 2011. The back and forth of H saying he wants to work on it, then can't, then wants to, etc. I finally hit my breaking point at the beginning of this month. Knowing they were in constant contact was more then I could bear, and I finally made the decision to leave. I'm not sure if this was my H rock bottom or not, but I feel like it was our breaking point. He finally saw what life was like with me and our D11 in it, and I'm not sure he was prepared for this. He was living the life, having his cake and eating it too. Once this wasn't happening anymore, he couldn't handle it.

I did move back pretty quickly, which I'm battling with as I sometimes feel like maybe I should have waited to make sure things were done with OW and H. I think they are, but am not completely positive of this. OW and H ended up getting in an argument because when I left H stopped talking to OW as much. He was trying to process what he needed and wanted and OW wasn't giving him the space he needed to figure this out and it angered him.

We are in the piecing stage now and I know we have a long road ahead of us, but I am doing everything I can to keep up with my 180's and GALing. It's very important to do this. I can't express to you how much these things have helped me.

I too in the beginning did the begging, pleading, crying, all the things DBing tells you not to do. This definitely just pushed H away, so as hard as it is, and trust me I know how you feel right now, DON'T DO THIS ANYMORE...

Definitely get the DR book...it will help put things into perspective for you, and definitely come on this site often. It helps get you through knowing that all of us are or have been where you are right now. These people have become in a sense family to me. They have given me the advice,love and support I've needed in really dark times.

And remember, you will get through this no matter what the end result may be. We are all here to help you, listen to you and hold you when you need us.

Contact me anytime you need anything okay?? BIG HUGS!!

Freebird