Hope you enjoy the recipe! Been making it for years. I'm glad the chocolate cake turned out good. I'm going to be good after pigging out at Thanksgiving, but I might ask you for that recipe later.
Well, being around family isn't terribly difficult, but I am still upset that my mother decided to tell everyone. I told her in confidence, but I've recently discovered that she's a big gossip and has some issues that she pretty much refuses to address. My other relatives are pretty okay with things, at least superficially.
I believe that he's still reading the first book. Haven't seen it in the house, but did see it earmarked in the car - which is where he takes his breaks. He told me the other day that he had a dream and our counselor was in it. I didn't say anything, but I think that its weighing heavily on his mind.
H is worried about finances as he is facing a furlow in less than two weeks. I do think he will call the counselor eventually, but I know that he really can't afford it right now. I would like to pay for it myself because we really need it, but I don't want to emasculate him. Have to try to find bring this up tactfully.
On Monday he told me that he told ow that he couldn't see her anymore. Told me that he wanted to stay her friend. How they practically grew up together. I bit my tongue mostly, but I did tell him that I was not comfortable with it.
Then he said that she wanted him to do something for her house as she was going to busy at work the next day. H basically wanted to get my blessing for being honest. Repeated that he was tired of lying to me and wanted to insist that he would set boundaries. After hearing him go on for a few minutes, I had to try really hard to keep it together.
First, I told him that I appreciated him being honest. Over the last week or so he has told me about every time he saw her recently. Keeps insisting that there was nothing physical, but he did confirm what I already knew about his coming home late from work, etc. She's treating him like an errand boy and he seems all too happy to comply. The receipt for the plunger, buying some last minute stuff for her Thanksgiving dinner under the pretenses of being a 'good guy.'
After I said that it was good that he felt he could trust me with this information without blowing up, I reminded him that this is exactly what he did with ow#1. Kept saying that she was just his friend, that she was in a relationship with someone else and that they only talked rarely. Fortunately at the time, ow#1 was 200 miles away. This one is 15 minutes away. He's only reconnected with her 2 months ago, and they basically hopped in the sack immediately.
I told him that I would not condone him attempting to maintain a friendship with someone that he crossed that line with. Working on a newfound 'friendship' should not be more important than being with your family. Then I said that I would not or could not stop him from doing whatever it is that he wanted to do. Either I go with it and become increasingly resentful or fight him on it and he slinks back into a corner.
He then repeated that he was only going to be her friend and that he loved me, blah, blah, blah. I can't really remember the rest because I zoned out. I made dinner, he ate and left for work at his usual time.
This morning, he asked me what was wrong. I told him the truth and said that I was feeling anxious. Not about him going to her house but because I just didn't feel comfortable with them being friends. I think I said this verbatim "She's probably saying to herself, 'Yeah, that's what you said now but you'll be back' - and that's what I'm thinking, too. I don't feel its fair that you ask me to do something you wouldn't do yourself. I am not comfortable with your friendship with her because it is obvious where it will lead again.'
He nodded his head a few times and we watched TV. A few minutes later he said that he wasn't going and laid down. His phone was left in the living room, so there was no way for him to call or text her. I'm pretty confused right now.
