DBing against OW...?????

[Abbey]

Felt that way when we S'ed in 2008. One morning, that feeling was SO strong that I wanted to drive over here, kick in the door, and use them both for mopping up the floor. I didn't. I drove around the city for hours, crying, p'o'ed, and just so lost.

Save that thump card for when you are much more detached. You'll find you won't want to use it unless and until you need to shove back so hard that you don't care if he ever comes back. (That's what I did,... gave fuel to the OW, to think she had won. I contend it feeds the OW's ego and that's when they get sloppy.)

If say, he takes your S out in a car and he's been drinking... THEN go helter on him. Before that... nothing you can do/say is going to penetrate effectively enough to stop your pain.

Hang in there.
Abbey