Here's the thing. We both went the route of seeing a divorce attorney to look into that option.. (in my case I went to a few to cover all my grounds) and we both eventually decided that it was not something we wanted. I didn't want it because of the ramifications it would have on the kids and my interest in reconciliation. And she told the MC that was her reasons for not proceeding as well.

If I draw a line in the sand that says if she contacts the OM then expect a D, it's virtually guaranteed that she will walk right then and I will have the immediate repercussions of her leaving with the kids and the D process starting right away as we both immediately fight for the kids. I know her and giving her an ultimatum is the fastest way to guarantee she does exactly what she feels she is being prevented from doing.... even if she doesn't want to do it. Setting aside the M, she would instantly pull the kids from the school and move back to her hometown 30min away and stay with her mother temporarily. So, that option is not on the table and she knows it I think.

With that being said, I guess I need to continue working on myself with 180s and the MC stuff. I have made a commitment to myself for my own mental sanity that I will not snoop and check the phone bill for the next week. I don't make empty promises so I'm hoping that in a week I will not look at it and commit to another week without looking.

I guess I just don't really get it. She went about a month with no contact to the OM that I was aware of and no suspicious behavior. Then all of a sudden she renewed her prepaid phone and talked to him, then after being confronted by it she went silent on him a week and now is texting/calling him the past 2 days.

We have our 6th MC session tomorrow evening. I know that she will report to the MC that I am improving on the things that I have been asked and agreed upon, because I have.

I tried taking the advice of "acting as if" today and "living in the present" and it really helped make me a more positive person to be around. I don't know if you can tell but I'm using this forum as a way of expressing frustration and negative feelings/thoughts that I'm trying not to show.