DBing against OW...?????

[imthemom]

thank you all for the input...I am going to redirect these Co Parenting sessions because I feel like they have become basially me sitting in on his therapy sessions. I feel physically beat up on when I leave them and it has not been productive in helping with our S14. My C has recommended that I get there 15 min. early so that I can calm myself and organize my thoughts, I am always filled with anxiety the first 10 min. of getting there so Im going to try that and go over in my head what and how Im going to say and stay calm and to the point.

25: Im not real sure what you mean by the fact that the OW bothers my more then his drinking...His drinking bothers me A LOT..I just have no proof that it is happening, and if Ive learned anything from living with an alcoholic for 16 years is that I cannot control his drinking and there is nothing I can do about it. So really, if i DID have proof, there would still be nothing I could do about it...except keep our S14 away from the situation. If he ever showed up smelling like beer or even made me think he had been drinking S14 would not go with him. period.

As far as the OW..i think obviousley some of it is ego...I wouldnt be human if it wasnt. I know this OW has nothing to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with him and what he is going through in his head right now...what bothers me is the viciouse insensitive way he is handling it. I can literally feel the hate coming off his body when he is in a room with me or is forced to talk to me. I cant explain to you how that makes me feel. so when I think about him being careing and sensitive to someone else, it kills me. and the kicker is Im being punished and treated this way because I decided to take our then S12 out of a situation that was deteriorating quickly and keep him from continueing to see his alcoholic D go down that road. for doing something that I thought was the right thing to do even though I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT!. What i wanted was for H to stop drinking so we could fix out marriage...it makes me want to slap him when we are in these sessions now and she asks him if we went to MC and he says (very rudely) yes but it never helped and then she says were you drinking at that time and he says yes and doesnt even aknowledge how STUPID that sounds..and she has said this at least twice.

Im so tired...Ive been thinking about GALs and 180s ....I am doing them but not really feeling like they are helping...Im excited about my new job prospects, and meeting new people. Im focusing on my kids and handling things different then I used to. Ive seen big changes in our relationships...that alone is worth it. but the road looks long...and I am just so tired.....and so sick of all the anger and negativity.