responded to the aforementioned email after lunch today with her. it was just as devastating and i ended up sobbing as i was typing.. even behind three closed doors and towel over my mouth, i can be heard. the only place left for me to go is somewhere else and that is kind of impractical at the moment.
i think i've been in denial about the whole thing...she's been telling me and telling me and i keep kind of not talking about it too much though did at first and before i read DB. i've been really working on such hugely important personal changes however she can only see me now when she looks back rather than the present and future. i don't want the relationship we had, either. i wasn't going to leave it though. don't get me wrong, i've behaved in reprehensible ways and have, i think, brought this all upon myself.
i thought the holidays sucked before! i had no idea they could be this bad!
