Need HOPE & Advice

[PERSEVERANCE]

Feeling pretty low….I called home to speak with my boys, when I was finished- my wife said that she wanted to talk. We had a 2 hr R conversation . I think that I did a decent 180—no begging,pleading etc… but I’m still so scared of the outcome.I'd prefer to lose a limb than my wife & break apart my family. Basically, my W said that she loves me and that I’ll always be part of her life…BUT….she said that she wants to move out (two miles away) in January and proceed with the D. W wants to be close so we can co-parent easier, she said that she will help with household chores, combine finances, etc.. Her plan is that we alternate staying in the house ( year to year), she also promised that there is no EA or PA ( I actually believe her). Even from 8,000 miles away she has noticed changes, but she wants to move out mainly because she isn’t sure that the changes will last, she doesn’t want to argue & expose the kids to the arguments, & she is worried that if the two of us are living together (but not together as H&W) that it will cause a lot of frustration and anger for me. She said that it is too late for MC… & that we should have gone to MC a few years ago. After 17 yrs, it seems like a waste to D without once seeing a MC! I feel like she is running, but we will still see each other nearly every day? She is still meeting me at the airport when I return, planning a small party, and will spend the holiday together. I’m still moving forward with my 180 & GAL plans…but it breaks my heart that she says that she loves me but won’t try to save the marriage & repeats that she love me/ its too late. Oh well…home in a couple of weeks. I'm sure many sitches have similarities...just praying that this horrible ride has a happy destination.