"...it is the initial adoration and idolization that draws the self-hating MLCer into the web of seduction."
WOW! Sure does fit mine too. H told me he hated himself and was on a path of self-destruction and he was going to go down big.
My sis in law said: H was SOOO solid. This isn't him etc. What I wonder about is: Maybe TOO solid? It's like the "good girl" ... who decides to break free for a while (usually because of the ever increasing pressure she puts on herself to live up to her own unrealistic expectations, or others expectations)... just decides to go right off the rails to rebel.
I have to wonder if there isn't some of that. H has always been the go to guy. The top sale person. The achiever. YET... it surprised my sis in law when I said, he always felt like he wasn't as successful as his brothers, because they owned various companies.
The fact that she seeks his input on every bloody aspect of her flippin' existence is intoxicating to him. For now. He's traded one set of unrealistic expectations for another kind. Her neediness and possessiveness.
My T and I spoke at great length about the hangover/let down that usually accompanies this. The inevitable war that can ensue once the feeder (my H) seeks to break from from the OW who's insatiable appetite for more drama, more conflict, more control, more manipulation FINALLY wears him out.
MZ, can you link back some of your previous threads for me. I'd like a chance to go read through.
Abbey
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
