Well, through the night, she continued to send me texts and I'm not really sure what to make of some of them. In talking about our dog that's sick, she said "I'm just glad you can take care of them. it tears me up inside that i can't. i hate it. i freaking hate it."
She went on to say that she left them with me because I needed them so much and she didn't want to be selfish so now she "just has to deal with it"
Later she talked about how it's so hard for her to see them b/c it makes her cry and hurts her too much.
I just responded that they love to see her and it was up to her but I could understand why it hurts her to see them. I guess I got that from the DB book or maybe from here about just acknowledging her feelings.
I wanted to say well come home then if you miss them so much, etc etc but of course I didn't. It's so hard to bite your tongue sometimes I guess. Anyway, I don't really get why it's so hard to see them. Does it remind her of us? or is it just that she is sad she can't have them with her? Kinda weird for someone who has only seen them once over the last 6 weeks, and who, before that, rarely saw them at all. Oh well. If she wants to, she knows where I'm at and I'll let her see them if she wants.
No, she stopped before bed time. She was going out with some friends for a birthday dinner and I didn't hear from her after she went there. I guess I should have said she TM through the late afternoon / early evening lol!
I think my ex must be crazy or something lol. A while back, when i was still pursuing like an idiot, I asked the ex to go to a concert scheduled for tomorrow night. It's a solo concert by the lead singer of a band we both like. he's playing in a 150 seat venue in our home town. What could be better lol?
Anyway, she was hesitant about saying yes because, as it turns out, she was waiting to figure out whether OM was coming up for thanksgiving. Well, I finally got tired of waiting on her to say yes and I just said forget about it. I was kind of angry at the time because I knew I was the backup plan. Anyway, I notice she posts on FB just a minute ago about how she wishes she could go to the concert. it just kind of made me lol and I wanted to vent a bit. A friend of mine said I should ask her to go but I figure if she wants to go so bad, the OM can take her. I think it would be pursuit to ask her to go now, and either way, OM will be her so she would say no. I'm not going to let the first time I ask her to do something (if I ever get to that point) to be a "no". I'm going to go with a friend and have a great time. Maybe I'll see them there lol. If I do, I'll just say hi and keep moving.
That is my plan. I've already got a good friend who is female who's going to go with me.
She was supposed to TM me today to come by and pick up the camera cable but either she forgot or decided not to. No TM from her all day. That's fine, but if she was waiting on me to TM her and ask if she was coming or whatever, then she was wrong. Seems like she's been really flaky lately. Oh well, like I said earlier, I'm going to wait until she contacts me.
Well, I finally got tired of waiting on her to say yes and I just said forget about it. I was kind of angry at the time because I knew I was the backup plan.
Be careful about knee-jerk reactions. In the future, if you know you aren't patient, plan ahead for that. ("I have a couple of tickets, and I have a friend who wants to go--if you'd like to go, I'd love it, but I have to know by ____").
I'm bad for knee jerk reactions sometimes. The time quoted above by dbmod was prior to my beginning the DB techniques in earnest.
Thanksgiving was good I guess. Had to get up and leave the table once because I got emotional. I did give in and text her on Thanksgiving even though I knew the OM was at her house. She responded nicely and we texted a small bit through the afternoon. I learned how to sight in a rifle which is a totally new thing for me so I let her know about that and told her to have a safe trip going to her dog show (with OM) this weekend. Anyway, I spent the rest of the holiday painting a room (finally finished last night) and watching football. She was at the dog show with OM. I finally broke down last night and had kind of a pity party with myself. I just got angry at her because she's off having so much fun and I'm stuck at home, etc etc. I'd never let her know that though.
Anyway, she said something about coming by this afternoon (back last Tuesday) so we'll see I guess. I'll just wait to see if I hear from her.
Hope everyone had a nice thanksgiving. I'm going to schedule another call with the DB coach this week to assess how things have been going.
I mailed out the birthday card on Saturday. It should arrive today, or tomorrow at the latest. My hope is that I get a message saying thanks for the card or something of the sort. Assuming that I do get a message from her or some sort of contact, how should I respond? Just play it cool I assume? Say your welcome and I hope that you have a great birthday? I'm also assuming I shouldn't send a text saying happy birthday since I sent the card. Am I right in that? Thanks so much for the help!
Great session with DB coach this morning! She really helps me see that there are positive steps being made and that I'm moving forward. She's really great at helping me step back just a bit and realize the progress over weeks instead of focusing on what happens day to day.
On the advice of my coach, I texted my ex today to tell her happy birthday and she has responded very favorably. She even said that the card I sent was her favorite card! Anyway, we've been talking just a bit throughout the day and it's gone very good and positively.
