Yeah, you weren't very nice. That said, unless I missed something, I don't see any zombies coming up the road and the world didn't end.
Don't beat yourself up. Learn from it. How would you rather it had gone?
I learned to sit on texts and emails. I treat phone calls and face to face convos differently now too. Remember, you don't have to respond right now. You can think about what you would like to say, how it might sound etc. Even with "live" convos, you can say "I'd like to think about it and get back to you" and "I really appreciate your offer."
I used to feel like everything I did wrong was it. It was officially over, I'd broken the camels back etc. The panic and fear were debilitating.
Now if I say something that comes of wierd, I talk about the elephant in the room. Also, I while I don't really care if he gets upset, my responsibility is to not be mean spirited. If I do that, his responses are his own.
You may not be able to go there yet and it takes time and practice to do it in a way that you aren't talking about your R.
I understand that you don't want your personal stuff "out there" with those other than you choose to tell. Given the sitch, you could ask him to respec that.
