Curve balls? Heck, I don't even play softball!!!

[In_Shock]

Well, weird weird morning. I was sleeping this am -- heard W in shower. I heard her drop the shampoo or one of S's toys or something, didn't think much about it. A few minutes later I got up, walked by and saw W sitting in the tub looking confused. She said she needed my help to get to the bed - she had passed out in the shower.

Apparently what I thought was her dropping some item was her falling down and passing out... WOW. I dried her off, she got dressed and got into bed. I know she hadn't eaten last night -- she said she didn't feel like it, and was kind of nauseated. I know she's been stressed at work also-- and I'm certain our sitch is taking a toll as well. I felt SO bad....I wish she didn't have to go through all of this (I wish WE didn't) and I really wish I could make it easier on all of us.

Then I think-- it's her decision to leave the m, to get involved with OW within a few weeks of our 'breakup-still living together with child' and I get confused. I love her -- I don't want her to hurt. I can't be a martyr and just give up everything I've worked for so she can have it all work out the way she wants it to---whatever that might be I'm not sure.

Am I making any sense? I definitely have never wanted to hurt her --> I take ownership of the things I did that led to our demise, but damn it, seeing her like this just broke my heart for her......