Too late?

[Nblost]

Thanks for your insights.

For him, I believe it is creating some warmer feelings in him. Now, do those feelings at all compare to what I imagine he has with OW? No, and I don't expect them to. But, I worry that if I am not warm and responsive to him...that may further prove that I'm not right for him and my desire will never match his.

For me, good question. I think I am okay. Partly because we aren't ML and he is being affectionate before and after. (If it felt purely like a physical release for him, I would feel differently). And, we are married...so it feels like we should be doing things. I think I also like knowing that he's "cheating" on OW with me. If he was completely dead towards me (like he was), that would be harder on my ego.

Now, he could be doing the affectionate stuff to try to stay in our house longer and string me along. I don't know. It seems like a risk I already have and I will not let him keep living like this for much longer.

At one point, I was debating doing more of the initiating and being a little crazier with him...but, I'm holding off on that. I don't want to seem desperate.

I guess I also believe that we may separate in January and he will be at about the six month mark of his A. If he starts to have issues with his A at that point, I'd like him to remember that I was sexually responsive. At a minimum, maybe what I've done already shows that there is a chance I can change and be there for him.

Thanks for listening, I'm having a hard time this week...I like being in control and I'm impatient...not a good combination for dealing with my sitch and DB-ing!