I'll say it again NYCPeter, it wasn't about disrespecting you or the marriage, you weren't a factor in it at all -- it was all about her. There was NO decision made to disrespect you. The thought of disrespect (or any other consequences) didn't even cross the radar screen. It was more "that's what I want, I'm going to pursue it". There was no "If I pursue this, here's what it means" -- that line of thought is pushed aside and buried.

Remember, there was no willful disrespect, it's really more like negligence.

If you can understand that, it will make it easier to forgive and to find peace for yourself.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015