Never thought I'd be here........

[sandi2]

Again, I think that her asking for things is her beginning to feel the sting of her departure.

Here's how I see it, as long as she's able to get what she needs from your house, she isn't feeling the sting. It's more likely to sting when she's faced without whatever she doesn't have....and have to actually experience going through not having it.

Hopefully, that helps to answer your next question.

Today she even asked me to bring the baby monitor for her next time. Do I say "please stop asking me for things"??

When she takes these things from your house, then will you go buy new ones? Does that seem "right" to you? In the end, only you will decide if you're going to handle this S with kit gloves or tough love. Do you want her to feel the sting of life without you? That also applies to the custody and visitation. If you plan to use kit gloves, then you just might let her strip your house bare. If you apply a little tougher love (which is not fun), you tell her (the last trip) to get what she needs b/c there will be no more trips to load up her car with your household items. And, if it's something the baby needs at both houses, then you have to decide to either tell her she'll have to provide that from her own pocket book or else you'll have to. Whatever or whichever way you decide to handle it....I'd advise you to have a pocket calendar to keep up with the days and what she took from the house. Anything that is for the baby, then you may need advice from somebody who know the legal aspects, b/c I don't. It use to matter, but now days, I think the parents get 50/50 and just deal with the problems. 25years here on the board might be able to tell you. I think she would say, "How do you want your WAW to remember you? Mad, angry, close minded......or cooperating, willing, having the baby's best interest at heart". (Only 25 would say it much better.)

But I think you need to decide which manner you want to proceed with, and try to use that as your measuring stick in these areas.

It seems you are already seeing a side that you have a hard time believing this girl you love could be so thoughtless toward you.

Do you think that she has moments of second thoughts?

I don't know how long she may be like this. There's too many things in the equation. I do believe a WAW can have moments that she questions if she's doing the right thing or not.....especially when there is a baby involved. However, that seldom stops her from her ultimate goal.

I have a hard time seeing how her new life is "better" than what she left - of course it is without ME in it so I guess that is the big component of it.

That is exactly why she appears all bubbly when you walk into her new place. She is going to show you how happy she is being out on her own. She does not'
t want you sticking your finger in her face and saying, "See, see! Admit it, you were wrong!"

And, she is happy...for now. Even being without some things she had in the former house, that's not what makes her happy. She feels free, and that's what she likes. I remember very clearly how much I wanted just to be free.

I am for sure in the LRT stage, but there are moments when I just want to ask her "are you SURE you want to do this???" or ask her again to go to a counselor.

At the end of the day, I just want my family back.

This is the goal to set before you each time you have a question about doing something. Ask yourself, "
How will this help me getting my family back"? If you can't answer, then ask yourself "who" benefits?