Wife of 6-Years is Divorcing Me pt.V

[25yearsmlc]

Just a quick notation I'd make to future communications on SOME of these issues....a firm clearer stance....

I hope so, dbmod...I hope so. Because I'm really pissed today with her.

UPDATE 6:15pm
She texts me from her work to tell me she'll be running late. Then she arrives to pick our son up, and I update her t-------
W: Come here?
M: Yes, around this neighborhood.
W: Well actually, I already have plans to take E with me to my friend's and do trick-or-treating with Jack (their 3 year old).

(At this point I was honestly flabbergasted that she didn't talk about this with me).

M: What?... I would like E to enjoy Halloween with me too, you know.
W: Isn't the church doing anything on Sunday night?

INSERT: W, YOU can feel free to take him there yourself...


(I'm now double-flabbergasted at her plain presumptuous attitude).

M: No. They're not. They canceled it this year.
W: Well, I'm sure people will be giving out candy at 5pm here.


OR YOU can find out if they;re doing it at that time where YOU live....

W, I don't want the presumptions on holidays to be that I will accommodate your schedule. That's not how people work things out, that's just me jumping thru hoops forever.

I can't and won't do that anymore. From now on, we must work things out as equals.


(OMG, what the crap?!?)

M: Okaaay then.

(I just looked away from her and focused on our son, said goodbye to him and closed his door).

Five minutes later, I've had enough and decided to text her the following:

"For future events involving E, can you remember to involve [color:#FF0000]ME his father in the decision making before jumping the gun?"

In case that ^^^ isn't clear, avoid asking rhetorical questions.

Just state your needs in a way that is fair and calm, of course. Show cooperation by conceding what you will do to achieve parity with her.

Meaning, you'd "gladly exchange 'X' for 'Y', but I must insist on..."

[/color]
I doubt she'll respond to that, but by not responding, it could be another thing that counts against her in a court case.

Document what you can. Including things like her making the plans without contacting you before. "W, as I said before, WE need to discuss and resolve these matters together. This is the ?th time you have not involved me in parental decisions."

Alamo, you may have to tell her "Firmer" things after that if she still carries on...like "W, if you shut me out of another parental decision, I will be forced to take legal action to vigorously protect my rights as a father."

You are being clear, not sarcastic or rhetorical. You are in effect, incorporating her past misdeeds in the message and stressing "joint parental" decisions. Your warning is a LEGAL one, not a weirdo threat. It's reasonable, Alamo.

Given the givens, it's more than reasonable.




Tonight I've become more motivated to finish the financial disclosure forms and get my case moving along. It's not out of revenge, mind you. It's the knowledge that she flagrantly assumes/presumes that she will be taking our son away from me to the East Coast, that she thinks she has this case in the bag.

Sorry folks, but...arrggghh!!

I get it!
Alamo, I've long thought the only way YOUR w could see the light, is if she gets
total freedom....and then it's not so great. I hope you get primary custody and in fact, am not sure why you wouldn't....right?

Do not ever lose sight of how your actions COULD be viewed by you son later.
Years from now, You will be able to tell him that YOU fought for him. It was not money or jealousy that you were fighting about, but time with him.

You love him so much that you want to be there as much as possible for him.

Alamo, what's your L saying to you? I think you are in the driver's seat on SOME of this...