Confronted spouse...now he wont come home

[Nblost]

Starsky, I hear you. I let up at times. Although, here's what's kind of weird about my H. When we have R talks and they start calmly and I listen, he seems to open up. Last night, we had the R talk and then we talked for 30-40 minutes while he was in the car on the way to the airport (about light things). He seems to warm up and appreciate some input from me...all along, he has thanked me for being "emotionally invested" in him. I also think he has needed to hear some of my thoughts along the way to know I still care and want to try.

The bad R talks are the stuff I did over the weekend when I am coming from a place of hurt and anger. Those aren't helpful.

The worst thing I struggle with is the occasional lashing out I do...usually spurred by H making a joke that strikes a nerve. For example, last night, he noticed a craft fair happening the weekend he is going on his vacation with OW. (I'm not into craft fairs)...he jokingly said..."Oh look, you could go to a craft fair on December 10". I then said, "Yeah, that sounds great for me while you have your fun". He got very angry and I said I am only pointing out reality. The R talk when we got home was to recover from that before he went on his plane for a week.

I now need to GAL and pep up...having a hard time facing this week and I know next week will be worse before his trip. (not that he's really home at all anyway)

I appreciate everyone's insights. I do think he is showing a few positive signs and I need to focus on those.