Newbie: Is this MLC and how do I GAL?

[Some Day]

Thank you Sandi2,

I definitely agree, that as a woman it is very hard for me to do things alone. I've always done everything with my husband. I especially get nervous going out at night by myself. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable. When I did GAL initially, I actually went to the beach and to a local amusement park by myself. I like your idea about checking out the local newspaper events section. I need to get the guts to get out more on my own.

I want to save my marriage more than anything in the world, but I know that I don't have any control when it comes to my husband's actions. Over the past several months I have read many books and e-books (some good, some lousy). I have read Divorce Remedy several times and have basically highlighted every paragraph! I've done Mort Fertel's Marriage Fitness program. I have read Chapman's 5 Love Languages, Not Just Friends, Close Calls, Getting Back Together, Fall in Love/Stay in Love and Surviving an Affair by Harley, and many, many, others. Do you have any suggested books on co-dependency that are worth a read?

My DB Coach said it sounded like an MLC due to all the confusion my husband has demonstrated so far. I don't really know. For me, knowing whether it is an MLC doesn't make a difference in terms of affecting my decision, but I think that it would help me understand what my husband is going through better.

My DB Coach also said that my approach of being kind and creating good will with him, initiating contact, etc. has yielded some good results, but I was overdoing it. I need to scale back and create more mystery, get a life, and become more unpredicatable. Also, learn to say no sometimes if my husband invites me to do something and not be so quick to return his text messages or phone calls.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I look forward to interacting with the great people on this forum.