Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith - EVEN BETTER

[Valeska19]

Thanks IS & Pers. The kind words are nice to hear.

@ Autumn - Yeah Boundaries are tough. We can figure them out together.

GALing the Sh!t out of my weekend is complete. Would go into more details, but am focused on getting some feedback about response to w in regards to the car email.

You all know me by now that I always want to keep things loving, however I need to financially protect myself. The conversation with my wife 2 wks ago put me on a bit of a rollercoaster. She hasn't spoken to me since other than the car email.

I am very thankful for our conversation and saw it as a positive, but I'll be honest... I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know what they say "First time - shame on you, Second time - Shame on me".

The truth is that my w has destroyed all trust with me. I can understand and forgive her decisions and her need to get me out of her life.. but I just can't trust her. It's not that I can never trust her again... just not now.

@ JS - I think I would lose more by fighting this battle. Although I can win it - going to court seems like a dumb idea and this has been the only thing that she has threatened me with. I've been smart enough to stay a step ahead of her in regards to my legal rights. This is just another example.

She DOES expect me to compromise. That's been our whole 9 yrs. She does not like it when I set boundaries. She has a hard time respecting them and her reactions to them are all over the place.

I've done a good job at setting the basics. Taking the D at my own pace is a big one. It took her awhile to accept it, but she does now.

I do NOT expect her to compromise. This is not her nature (although she would argue she does). Everything in the past 7 months has been on her own timeline and even when she does offer something (ie: paying for my health insurance) she throws that stuff up in my face later.

She has done her best to control every aspect of this debacle.

That all being said. I have decided to compromise. In some ways I am doing what you did JS.. my big boundary - I will not financially contribute to this divorce in any way. I have never told wife this and have been praying for peace on it. My heart and head agree. She wants it - she can pay for it. I will not bend on this.

But here is my response back. I mostly use this forum alot to journal. There hasn't been a ton of conversation about strategies or game planning. We don't really discuss the details of my sitch - only the details of my growth. I'm sure this has alot to do with the fact that my interaction is regardless.

MWD says to ask for what we want... so I'm asking for that kind of feedback, Strategies, guidance from our vets... whatever you want to call it.

Because.. I REALLY struggle with being loving vs. being a push over. I want to keep the good vibe going from the last two wks but I also need continue to protect myself financially.

I find myself slightly struggling now that she does seem to have a slight change of heart in her reactions with me. My friends caution me, I caution me, but I also don't want to smash her changes either.

so your feedback is GREATLY appreciated.

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W,
Thank you for your email. I accept your offer of x for the versa.
However before I remove my name from the title, the following needs to be done.

1. The Ford Focus Title needs to transferred over to my name (It's in hers only).
2. The amount of x needs to be paid either via money order or certified check.

If you are uncomfortable with this, I am willing to sign any document stating that I will release my half of the car once payment is complete.

Also per our last conversation, I will not pay for any fees in regards to splitting of the cars. I have accepted that this divorce must happen and will not stop you or the process from moving forward, However I will in no way financially contribute to it.

Since this will be the last time we will need to see each other until tax season, I would like you to bring The CD sleeves so I can get all of my CD's back as well of my half of the "rainy day" jar.

I will bring all of your documents but will keep anything with both of our names under it.

Thanks,
Val

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