Hey H. True. We managed an ok ride down, despite torrential rain. The funeral was a nice service and military burial. I took the family out afterwards. It was ok.
Jack - read Watership Down part of the way.
The process of planning for 6 months away hasn't been easy. The stress triggers these ups and downs, and conflists with W, which I'm particularly sensitive to. Her reaction is to pull away, and ignore. Anyway, as I've mentioned before, this only happens with my W. Other things in life, I handle pretty well. W thinks it's anxiety. Maybe she's right, though I'm calm about almost everything else.
Dissapointed in myself. I do really need to relax about this though, and have a little faith, and fun.
A great leader understands how to support everyone else around them in their greatness, while operating and conducting themself from a position of personal strength and integrity.
The dictionary defines leadership as one who guides thru their influence. Marriage seems like a great training ground for leadership development. One can call each partner in a M a leader. Our role is to move the R forward in whatever way it needs to go. This involves listening skills, empathy, communication, patience, compassion.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Hi CL - your comment and Kaffe Dieam's really struck me. Good point.
JTB - Really enjoying Watership Down - I'm about half way through. He told this story to his daughters while driving around England, eh? Must have been a heck of a long drive! Lots of good examples of leadership so far....though I noticed that so far it's been a group of men (em, I mean male rabbits). Sense that is about to change, though. Anyway, lots of similarities to other great heroic stories, Homer to Lost. I suppose that's one of the points!
I think one of my points I failed to mention, is that you're too focused on the style of leadership--as if one is better than the other, or that there's only one style of being a man. I think part of being a man is facing one's problems, which can be done without bluster. Don't you believe in the term "quiet strength?" I can relate because I have a similar style, and often underestimate my power and influence with my W and in life. I don't think failures in leadership occur due to style, but due to avoidance.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Hi CL. I totally agree. "Quiet strength" would have been my personality before - and it worked just fine. When I felt that strength disappear I did all sorts of things to try and *seem* strong - W saw right through that BS. And I did some of the avoidance stuff, which was how I tried to slow things down when my W was go, go, go. Neither worked very well. I'd like to go back to the quiet strength but I think it requires an inner calmness and confidence I just don't have most days. Too often, I got the calmness and confidence from my W and M and obviously that doesn't work very well in the long term....
But you're right - leadership style is besides the point....
I remember a scene from Lost, where Sawyer is reading this on the beach. Didn't understand the significance at the time - but sort of hits you over the head if you've read it, eh?
Weird thing is I identify with Fiver mostly but at the same time I would feel badly for him. He seems to have a hard time getting by, can't relax and go with the flow and enjoy - too familiar.
A couple of down days. This weekend friends are visiting. Years ago we visited them and something about that triggered the "I don't have any respect for you" conversation from my W that led to....well, all of this. Decided that there's no particular reason for the down days. And whether or not my W respects me is up to her. I worked hard to get to where I respect myself so I don't have to worry about what other people think. So bring on the weekend....
