YOu got me right! I am in a dilemma. But I am sure there is a solution to it. I remember feeling the same way when I first read the Love Dare. Here in the boards, everyone says "eewww, its pursuing" and I did agree, it is pursuing if you do the dares on someone who is disinterested. But it was immensely valuable to me in understanding what unconditional love really is, and led me to being able to forgive (most times, at least), lose most of the anger and resentment, and understand what choosing to love is.
At this point, I am sure there are still some DB principles which would apply, and some of which I have to slowly back away from for the purpose of developing a connection with my H.
Balancing saying enough versus saying too much is tough.
I agree though, H's decision to ML is big, because he is not one to take that lightly. That is why I believe him when he says that he did not have a PA with OW, in that sense, he does tread the straight and narrow. And this sitch is something that taught me to trust in him, in a sense. The realization that in the end he will still do right, no matter how painful for him, is a big one for me.
As I get more ideas on how DB and Retrouvaille can be reconciled, I will post.
Maybe I should move my posts to piecing though? Might be of more relevance over there.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
