Unfortunately, from what I see on this site, there is little a parent can do to keep their spouse from allowing op around their children, unless the op is in some way harmful to them. Unfortunately, adultery doesn't seem to be considered harmful anymore.
I would have left off sending her the text, even though she hung up on you. Don't let her goad you into striking back that way.
At least your son is able to escape to his room when om is around. I am sure his feelings are apparent to your W. And she is projecting her feelings of guilt onto you and your drinking. She knows your kids aren't seeing you drunk, anymore, but still feels she has to throw that up to you whenever there's a disagreement. And besides, your drinking did not make having the kids around om a good thing.
You are right, you have taken responsibility for your actions, and have sought to change yourself for the better; she has not. Like you said until she does, things won't get better on her end. It could take a while. And living your life not waiting for her to decide to face her own faults in this, is a good move for you. Not saying to jump into getting a D. Keep that on hold, still, until and unless you are through. Because things would be pretty much the same then, except you would then be free to date other women.
