P.S. Giving her more space than she wants -- try to come up with some clear ideas. It seems you aren't giving her more space than she is looking for, but instead the minimal space she can tolerate easily. When she gets that minimal space, she gets a bit friendlier, that's all.
How about creating a firm childcare schedule? She has her times, you have your times. Period. Then, she doesn't have to seek permission for when she goes out, she can just go wherever when she isn't on childcare duty without involving you at all. Same for you.
How about getting distracted and starting to text some anonymous person when she's pursuing you?
How about setting up a legally binding separation agreement now to protect yourself financially. Right now, probably all debt is joint debt (except maybe student loans) no matter whose name it is in. That will continue to be the case until you D, probably. But, right now she will be more generous financially, especially if it will help get her out of the house more quickly. Trust me, the longer this goes on, the less generous she will become. The financial ties HURT your chances of reconciliation right now. Maintaining those ties keeps you in each others' business -- not helpful. It creates fights and resentment. It doesn't help your M heal. And if you D, you'll just be worse off by waiting.
Really -- consider a separation agreement for financial and custody matters much sooner than later. That will allow her to have the independence she wants.
Without real space and freedom to choose, she will never be able to tell what she wants and neither will you.
