First post, words of wisdom needed

[sunshine76]

Hi everyone, I am so grateful that I found this forum. I finished reading DB'n a week ago and been working on doing a complete 180.

3 months ago my wife of 9 years let me know that ILYBNILWY. She asked me for space, which I of course did not give her and ended up pushing her even further away. I can't blame her for not wanting to be with me because I did not like the person that I was either, basically I did not appreciate her and I always had to be right about everything.

She told me that she wanted to date other people, so obviously she either has some kind of a connection with someone or wants to form one. The funny thing is that I am not mad about it because I was the one that has pushed her away all of these years so basically I deserve it.

This week I started working on the 180. I am trying to find the lighthearted fun side of myself again and show that to her.

A few weeks ago (before I had read DB'n) I asked her if we could just date and try to have some fun together. She said that she wished that we could just date, but that she couldn't because we are living together and that would be to hard on her. She also said that she cannot imagine me sleeping in the same bed with her again. I overheard her talking to her friend and she is very intent on trying to find someone to go out on a date with.

If moving out would allow me to date her I would do it in a heartbeat but I do not have the money to move out (going back to school and currently looking for part-time work).

I am just looking for any words of wisdom. Once someone has emotionally detached is there any way to get them back? This weekend she cleaned "her" room and removed all of my stuff from it. It felt like a knife in my heart but I didn't say anything, in fact I told her how nice the room looked.

I would really appreciate any insight that you may have. I have read through almost all of the posts on this sight and I just wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories.

Sunshine

P.S. we do not have any kids (except for our 4 legged ones :-)