progress?

[Cadet]

I dont know how to behave to give us the best chance to get through this part, other than to not focuss on the relationship. can anyone give me advice?

Not this

I have reacted badly,begging pleading etc, and it's taking time to get back on track.

Have you read the Divorce Remedy book?
I would suggest starting there.

This is classic pursuit and distance.
Also this link might help you
Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=714209

Stop pursuing him and let him control all contact.
He pursues you and then you scare him away.
Let him come after you.
Make him work for it.