THIS time, he's ok with touch. Why wouldn't I utilize it? I'd be a fool not to. Why roll this all the way back to square one if I don't have to? Even though most of me feels out the door,... I do still feel *something* for him. So... since I've left a small crack in the door ... in case, why wouldn't I?
Because I GUARANTEE YOU, he observes you doing these things and thinks "See, Abbey's OK with all of this -- I've got things under control, and she is at my beckon call."
If he is getting some of his physical and emotional needs met by OW, and the rest of them met by YOU . . . why would he change his current path?
I think Schnarch calls this "the crucible," into which you try to get someone in order to make their tough life choices. But regardless, MWD calls it "pursuing," and doing them while your husband is actively engaged in an affair makes you look weak, needy and unattractive, in my opinion.
