SA - there are a number of things going on here. A lot of it is based on what your h may or may not have said. Even if he said it, MLcers are notorious for saying something in the grip of their emotional turmoil.
Having said that, this does not diminish your emotional response - what your h has apparently said is a sort of 'last straw' that we all reach in dealing with these people.
It appears as if your h has a lot of issues - his first wife sounds very out of control, and I have learned to be suspisious when people are attracted to others with mental health issues. it often mirrors something in them.
You sound as if you provided a period of stability and calm which health problems and possibly work issues, as well as deep seated personal problems re-triggered.
No-one knows whether or not they will emerge, and in what state and if we then want to work on any kind of relationship.
Keep on doing what you are doing. One day at a time, not weeks, months and even years down the line. it is today that matters.
How would you feel if either what your h said turned out not to be true, or he admitted saying it, but not meaning it? your journey is about the long term. Today's and yesterday's events have a terrifying power to destablize us and put us off our course. You give such good advice to others, and see things so clearly.
I hope that the next few days bring a return of your peace.
