Some of the following may hit a mark, other stuff not so much. Let me know what doesn't feel like it fits.
Control in itself is not a bad thing. From what I can see, your control is not focused around the control of others. When someone tells you that you are controlling, you might actually want to take that as a complement rather than a personal attack.
Just be careful and aware that as you make things happen around you, that you are not attempting to control others in a negative way or for some self serving purpose. I do not see you doing that from what you are saying. Some of it may be self serving, nothing wrong with that in a benign way, but it's not your primary focus, or you are not trying to capitalize on it in any way.
Your challenge with time and spontaneity is understandable. It's not how you operate. You have your schedule that works for you and the things that you've committed to and you plan your spontaneous time. You don't like down time because otherwise you aren't being productive.
You don't like surprises. You don't like when things happen TO you. And you prefer to plan your fun, rather than becoming PART OF the fun that's already happening. And you don't need to know all the details of something to get a job done. It just bogs you down, wastes time, when you can figure things out as you go along.
You may feel that you don't normally need to be validated, but you may be questioning yourself and so I did want to let you know that it's all OK... you are OK...
There are a number of things that you might want to look at as far as expanding your horizons, as it were.
You likely have a tendency to take on a lot more responsibility than you might really need to. I know it's part of what makes you, you... still... one of your biggest challenges will be accepting you can't do everything... you may find it VERY liberating to let other people take the lead and responsibility... as horribly difficult as that might feel, to do...
Let me rephrase that: You CAN do everything... you just... don't need to... the weight of the world doesn't have to fall solely on your shoulders. The only one that thinks so, is you. That is why when you fail to meet the expectations of someone else, you are probably the one who is hardest on yourself. And that's why so many people rely on you. Because they know you'll always come through for them and get the job done. It's your strength... AND... it's your weakness...
As far as next challenges, I really think the "breaking bread" challenge could be very enlightening for you. How you go about and have lunch with someone you don't know is not as important. The important part is taking as much part of an hour that you and the stranger can muster to have lunch with them and get to know them.
Why?
You may know a lot of people whom you call friends and who ARE your friends. It's about pushing your boundaries and comfort zone to really, spontaneously, make deep, meaningful connections with people who have no relation to your life and will serve no purpose in your future.
Really get to know someone who you are not saving and you are not enlisting for some purpose.
Again, what's it all about? From where I sit, this is all about experiencing a fuller, broader, more meaningful life, in as many moments as possible and allowing things to happen TO us, as often as we involve ourselves in things that are happing...
Make sense?
Some people like to figure out every last detail before they start a project. That's not you.
Some people like to enlist the help of 20 people to get the job of one done, and they prefer to discuss that job over wine and cheese, before tackling the job. That's not you.
Some people just want to be part of the job and try to fit in where ever someone could use their help and support. That's also not you...
You are who you are and that's good. Incorporating the qualities of others that isn't your "norm" helps you relate better with others and grow in very beneficial ways.
