Thank you so much I learned so much from YOU and everyone else here, at the time when you would try and help me I could not see past my own emotions, I thought I don't get how does someone act AS IF?? How does someone in so much pain let go?
And I remember one thing you told me...worry about YOU and YOUR Son. and that is what I did, and it was the BEST advice you could have given me, Of course it took some time to sink into my head, I was fighting my heart, I was fighting my brain I was fighting his crisis.. But once I stopped and thought about what you said is when it clicked with me, Let him have his crisis and while he is doing that TAKE CARE of ME and My son..
I sometimes still sit and think about all of it and wonder why? but I do not think about it to long It gets you now where..I have been working with some people over the years that have bee n on this roller coaster ride and told everyone of them to Join this site and read all of the stories here, Talk to everyone here, you will fine the most Loving Caring Understanding people you will Never feel alone when dealing with your H/W's crisis..
Not only has it changed my way of feeling and dealing with the crisis it changed me as a person, my Heart is more open to people, I no longer judge anyone because I have not walked in that persons shoes.... I have opened my home to people that have tough times in life, I have given back to many charities, it has opened my eyes to a world I knew nothing about,,, and found that Life is to short for me to sit around and cry over all I lost, I now sit around when I have time, and think of all the good things I have in my life..this is not only a crisis for the one that walked away it is crisis for the family..
My main goal when I started on MY road to recovery was to make sure Our son was okay, I started him in therapy, I watched him like a hawk, and yes I may have even babied him a little more then I should have.. My son struggled with the loss of his father, was angry at him, was hurt.. I had to push my own feelings aside and tell him, Your father loves you more then life itself, Your father will always be there for you, Please understand this had nothing to do with you, Your Dad needs sometime to figure things out, and if you ever need him he will be there. It did take time and it was a lot of work to keep him on track but Thank God my son let go of his anger and hurt and is now very happy to be in his fathers life and Thank god they do have a great relationship when ever he hangs up the phone I hear him say I LOVE YOU DAD...my son went from a 297 pound 15 year old who was depressed to a 187 pound 19 year old who is now a power lifter setting world records I am please and proud to say he survived the crisis and came out the other end a happy well adjusted young man....
And I know this is the place that saved US,,, so Thank you from the bottom of my heart
