First of all, it would be very easy to get caught up in an A that you may end up regretting if your W comes out of her fog.
This is one thing I have thought of. I sometimes imagine getting into an R around the same time that my W calls me and tells me that she made a big mistake & wants to do everything she can to fix it... Thing is, like I've said before, I'm starting to get tired of playing the "waiting game" for someone who treats me this way.
I'm becoming concerned that she'll never treat me with love & respect again. Her disdain for me started almost exactly after we got married. I'm starting to believe that she's not built for marriage. (Or, at least, marriage to me.)
As a final note, MWD says that most A's don't last beyond six months, but we're quickly approaching the 6-month mark and nothing seems to be changing. These five months have been bad enough. I don't know if I could handle anything past that span of time.
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Also, if you get involved with someone too soon after the break-up the odds are extremely high that that relationship will fail as well.
How soon is too soon, though? I've been separated for nearly half a year now. When does a person "start back up"? (I'm asking out of curiosity, not to "question" you. I ask questions to answer my own.)
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I think you need to give this a lot more time. I know you are hedging right now but you should really put it out of your mind entirely for the time being.
In the end, this is probably what I'll end up doing. Though I feel much better than I used to, I'm still wounded. I feel that I would be pursuing an R as a salve for my hurt and loneliness. Deep down, I know I'm the type of person who could only be in an R if I was in it for the long haul.
I feel a lot of times that getting into an R, however brief, would equalize me with my W. Much of my pain comes from the idea that she's with someone else when she's "supposed" to be with me. So I guess it feels like being with someone would reduce that pain because I'm with someone, too. Does that make sense?
Again, not a good reason to get into an R. Just thought I'd throw my feelings out there for discussion.
