I think you are right when you say "fair" to her is anything that is to her benefit. That makes it really hard to negotiate these strange new waters. She keeps asking me for things from the house - borrow a backpack, bumpers from the crib, certain pieces of furniture, pictures....it seems like every time she contacts me she wants something. She moved out of a pretty decent house and into an "older" condo with much, much less space and far fewer amenities. Again, I think that her asking for things is her beginning to feel the sting of her departure. Today she even asked me to bring the baby monitor for her next time. Do I say "please stop asking me for things"??
When you say "irrational" is her state of mind, I tend to agree. But when does it y? Do you think that she has moments of second thoughts? I have a hard time seeing how her new life is "better" than what she left - of course it is without ME in it so I guess that is the big component of it.
I am for sure in the LRT stage, but there are moments when I just want to ask her "are you SURE you want to do this???" or ask her again to go to a counselor. However, I stick to the LRT plan - though today I think I was a little quiet and cold during the exchange. She, on the other hand, was all smiles and bubbly saying good-bye to the baby. Maybe she is LRT'ing me in reverse?
At the end of the day, I just want my family back. I sit here with my son and enjoy the time, but there is an emptiness and sadness that hangs over my head because she is not here. It's like the picture just isn't complete. I wish we could enjoy our baby together and I wonder if she wishes the same.
You said you were a WAW, Sandi. What turned the tide for you? How long did it take? Did you make it all the way to D?
