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I have no idea who you are but God bless you for feeding lines to my voice of reason. I always value your insight and am grateful that you take time to guide a total stranger in distress. Thank you.


You are very welcome. I remember when when I first arrived and was the stranger in distress, only difference--I was a WAW. Thankfully, some really great people helped me find my right mind again!


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Why will she not accept a 50/50 fair split? Why is she unwilling to sacrifice a day of hers for "fewer transitions" but expecting me to do so? It just seems irrational.


Most WAW's count "fairness" as when it benefits her. She is irrational b/c that is her state of mind. I think it will show up much more in the area of the son.

You are correct in saying that she's just beginning to experience the backlash of her decision to leave. She may say things like how she not looking forward to being a single mom, etc., but you won't hear her say she regrets leaving. Something about how she said, "38 and a single mom" makes me think she probably has been influenced and she certainly is looking to becoming exactly that image. In her mind, that is more fun or glamorous than being 38 and a M mom! As a norm, women that young just don't leave her home & H, especially with a baby)unless she strongly believes her life apart from him will be a lot better.

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She is now suggesting that we go to a mediator - which will most likely end in a result that NEITHER of us would like.


I know very little about legal matters in these things, but from what I've read just here on the board, the courts give fathers 50% custody in most cases. So, don't be afraid of her threats. In fact, you could ask your lawyer for advice in this issue. If she sees you being all too agreeable to see a mediator, it may cool her heels.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!