My W and I have been piecing for a few months. In answer to your question, before the bomb my W was cold for about 10 weeks and wouldn't tell me what was going on (she was having an EA). After the bomb she was cold as ice for about 6 weeks, and I mean REALLY cold, it was brutal. The hardest part was that I felt I had my soul ripped out and torched and she would walk around smiling like nothing had happened. The bomb coincided with ending the EA, so I consider that 6 weeks to be the EA recovery and grieving period.
I believe 16 weeks is pretty short on the pain scale based on many stories on this board, but I wouldn't want to go through it again. I think the length of time of "coldness" is driven by many factors, including how bad things were before the bomb, if there is an affair, how long it goes on and what stage it is, how long it takes OM to go away, how long it takes her to grieve, and finally and perhaps most importantly how well you can DB without backsliding or pursuing.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
