PA - Confirmed - Blinkers are off.

[25yearsmlc]

Peter,

way back a few posts, you discussed the talk you two has and how it's out in the open now.

Given the givens, I thought the talk went as well as it could realistically have gone.

yes as Sandi and KD say, you will need a commited marriage at some point but that is not now.

As per usual - thanks for all the replies.

LOYAL to YOU and your KIDS...
DEPENDABLE to YOU and your KIDS...
ALWAYS THERE for your KIDS...

As a by-product of all of this, I am doing the same for my W.

You may feel you are giving your W her space... it is very likely your W is not feeling it...

I'm pretty sure you are right that my W is not feeling it. But only way to give more space is to move out of bedroom or home - and I won't be doing either.


NOT TRUE^^^...you had an opportunity to spend a night at your friends' and you chose otherwise.

That would have been unpredictable without risk to the girls AND would have given your w some space...and maybe something to doubt or wonder about you.

See, in a way, the reliable dependable Peter is also the "BORING and NOT exciting" and "not passionate/romantic" man she seems to believe she needs.

The opportunities that present themselves are things YOU MUST avail yourself of.

PReferring the "predictability" of being next to her was the path of least resistance but only in the short term...in the long run you'll have more nights next to her IF you start being unpredicatable and LESS available to her

and more interesting/exciting--mysterious--attractive.

Yes I know it's like a game. I never denied that!


Back on the rollercoaster - very cold last night and this morning.

1. Change your hair style out of nowhere, show no concern whether your W likes it or not.

My hair style really only accomodates a "#1" these days

You've been running? Sign up for a race! There's age group categories, and especially with the longer ones it's sometimes just about finishing.

I hadn't thought about signing up for a race - I like that idea.

Take up an instrument(I personally did this one)
Here's the best one: find something you've been wanting to do for years, quit making excuses and do it.

These would be like knocking two items in one go.

One thing that keeps coming up over and over - She does not love me, and she cannot regain that love. Not sure there is much I can do about that - except keep being the best person I can be.

I reject this out of hand. Love is at least in part, a choice. It's a verb, an ACTION word...

if she once loved you, she can again. Stop worrying about whether she does. Know that she SHOULD love you, if she had any sense at all. Assume that down deep she does. You cannot function if you don't believe at least one of those two statements.

but yes, being the best YOU is your course of action.

With some mystery thrown in Peter. Change SOME of your behaviors, and if you cannot do so, that in itself would trouble me b/c it sounds rigid and boring,
and means you won't push yourself into something that is even only mildly uncomfortable (how scary was it for you to spend a night at someone's house, yet you refused.)

Do something new or you will not grow. Growth requires some change. And that is a good thing.