One thing that keeps coming up over and over - She does not love me, and she cannot regain that love. Not sure there is much I can do about that - except keep being the best person I can be.
My wife said the same exact thing...repeatedly. Much of that sentiment ended up being based on the fact that she didn't believe I could change...or rather, that the changes she was seeing in me would be permanent. Another factor was the anger and resentment she felt because it took her saying she wanted a divorce to set those changes in motion. Once she saw that the changes were enduring, and once some of her anger began to subside, she found herself questioning whether or not the love she was so sure she had lost was really gone for good. And once she began to question that, she also began to take a look at her own role in how we ended up where we were.
I took the tact that, for the time being, all my wife owed me was honest, open communication so that we could continue co-parenting amicably, and other than that I gave her all the space to pretty much do and be what she wanted while I continued on DBing and GALing. I accepted whatever closeness, kindness, and affection she was willing to give me of her own accord, but I never came looking for it. Instead, I just focused on living my own life and taking care of the kids and looking for and doing 180's that I knew addressed some of her complaints in the marriage. The more I did that, the more she saw that I was going to be ok no matter what, and the more attractive I and the idea of staying married to me became to her.
H: 41 W: 35 M: 9 years T: 10 years S: 9 D: 7 ILYBINILWY & "I want a divorce": 6/22/2011 Piecing: 10/2011 Still going strong as of 4/2013
